Well, I've finally found out somethingnew about myself.. it seems, I don't ahve jsut one mask.. I've had 6 already.. the mask I was trying to destroy.. it broke.. so, for ..10 minutes.. I felt like myself.. Ifelt.. kinda ok, knowing (well it was some wrong knowledge but that doesnt matter now) i would be able to find myself, and start living my life. but, after those ten minutes. another mask was put on.. Every time I thought I changed.. I did, every time, I just made another mask.. it seems, that every time I didnt totaaly wrecked, the mask got destroyed, and another one took it's place.. this is already the seventh..

but.. atleast.. I know a little bit more about the person I actualy am.. He doesn't want to be found.

And, I told in a poem, I can see aura's and interact with them and stuf.f.. it seem to that, every time a new mask was created, I had to rebuild this powers. now I'm rebuilding them again.but, this time.. I'm gonna try yo keep this mask.. if this keeps going on, I'd rather stick to one. and change it, untill it'sbecome my real face.

I've also found a way tor each my inner consciousness, many of you probably dont udnerstand this, but I'm sure there are people who do understand this.
I've found a way, OI guess. because for 4 times, in 3 days, I;ve reached it. it enabled me to finally use it'spowers. to create a certain reality, I;ve only managed to do small stuff.. but if I get this link under control. I'll finally e able to also adjust thigns aobut myself.. and then the big stuff will come along.

While I ws in that state. I was able to change the wind;'s direction (seems like nothing but it is. it really acted to my will all i wanted happened.), I also changed the working on my phoen for a few moments, then I brought it back to default. I changed my appearence too.. well, not like, beter looking or somethig, I changed the shape, I changed the way I saw my own face. and soem other small stuff.

you might believe it or not, don't care, it happened, see what you think of it.

there was something more.. dont remember mayb there wil be an update soon stay tuned


*sigh*